Why anger is a good thing

That fire rises in your chest, your jaw clenches, and a primal growl bubbling up from your gut—hello, anger. 

It’s that emotion we often try to shove down or unleash in a way that leaves scorched earth in its wake. But dealing with anger doesn’t have to be that way. 

What if we, instead, reframed anger? What if, as “the kindness guy” Leon Logothetis suggests in an episode of Honest Conversations, it can be a powerful tool for growth and positive change?

The thing is, anger isn’t inherently bad. It’s just misunderstood. And it can be harnessed and turned into a powerful ally.

Leon Logothetis is a British adventurer, motivational speaker, and philanthropist. He used to be a successful broker but left that life behind to travel the world. Through his journeys, documented in his book and Netflix show The Kindness Diaries, he encourages people to chase dreams, embrace kindness, and find purpose in life.

The Transformational Power of Dealing with Anger In a Healthy Way

Research shows that bottling up anger can have unpleasant consequences for our health and well-being. Chronic stress, high blood pressure, heart disease, weakened immunity, mental health issues, and even strained relationships can arise.

“By letting my anger out safely, it stops me from going and doing something harmful,” says Leon. Here are a number of plus sides to addressing this emotion in a healthy way:

• It boosts your self-awareness. You then gain valuable insights into your values, boundaries, and what truly matters to you.

• It improves your emotional intelligence, which strengthens your communication and interpersonal skills.

• It empowers self-advocacy. This empowers you to take charge of your life and navigate situations that might have previously triggered frustration or resentment.

• It fuels positive change. When channeled productively, it can inspire you to stand up for what’s right, fight against injustice, or advocate for change in your personal or professional life.

• It strengthens your relationships. Learning to express anger assertively fosters open communication, empathy, and stronger bonds.

• It improves problem-solving, fueling your creativity and determination to find workable solutions that address the root cause of your frustration. This, in turn, builds your emotional resilience.

“So that’s why I say that anger is a good thing,” Leon adds. “Let it out safely, let it out healthily, and then when you come into the situation that causes you anger, the chances are that you will behave in a calmer way because it’s not bubbling up inside.”

3 Main Misconceptions About Anger

There’s no denying that anger gets a bad rap. Here are a few common misconceptions about it you may have heard:

• Anger is always destructive. It can cloud your judgment and lead to rash decisions or aggressive behavior.

• Anger should be suppressed—push it down and ignore it. Only because it’s often seen as purely negative and disruptive.

• Anger is a sign of weakness. It’s viewed as a loss of control.

But all of these are just… myths. Feeling this feeling doesn’t have to be a kind of emotional trauma for you; as a matter of fact, there’s such a thing as healthy anger.

And when you’re respectful of it and channel it productively, it can be a catalyst for problem-solving and positive change.

Dealing with Anger: 5 Healthy Ways to Express This Emotion

More often than not, we’re told not to be expressive when this complex emotion rises up. But how to do it—well, that’s something that many of us weren’t taught. 

In the sit-down with Kristina, Leon shares several methods that can help you with expressing anger in a healthy way. 

Note: If you find that your anger is difficult to manage on your own or if it’s interfering with your daily life and relationships, seeking professional help from a therapist specializing in anger management can be incredibly beneficial.

1. Taking a Moment to Cool Off

When anger strikes, it’s easy to react impulsively. But an immediate reaction often leads to regret. 

Leon advises to “get mad safely.” Step away from the heated situation, take a moment to cool off, and use whatever relaxation techniques help you. Take deep breaths, count to ten, listen to your favorite song on repeat, or “go into your shower and scream.”

There’s a healing power in giving yourself space to respond thoughtfully rather than reactively. By doing so, you can communicate your needs or frustrations in a way that’s more likely to be heard and understood.

2. Communicating Clearly

It’s essential to express your feelings, but how you do it matters. A 2018 study found that using “I-language” was the most effective strategy to use during conflict.

So when talking about your anger, use “I feel” statements. For instance, instead of saying, “You make me angry,” say, “I feel angry when…”

This approach focuses on dealing with anger and avoids blaming or attacking the other person, paving the way for more constructive and respectful conversations.

3. Seeking to Understand

“Your feelings are not hiding from you,” Leon highlights. “They are still there.”

That’s why understanding the root cause of your anger is crucial. Ask yourself: Is it just about the situation at hand, or is there a deeper issue?

Sometimes, this kind of discontent can be a cover for feelings of hurt, betrayal, or fear. By identifying the underlying emotions, you can address the real issues and find healthier ways to cope.

The thing is, this shift in mindset can make such a difference when you’re controlling rage. When you see it as a signal rather than a stop sign, you can use it as an opportunity for self-discovery and growth.

4. Exercise

“Let the feeling out,” Leon suggests. “Otherwise, it will consume you.”

And one way to do so is through physical activity. Whether it’s a brisk walk, a run, or hitting the gym, exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood lifters. 

This not only helps in calming your mind but also puts you in a better state to address the issues causing your anger.

5. Journaling

Leon is a huge advocate for this therapeutic form of self-care. 

“I take a journal, and let’s say I write a letter to someone who’s upset me,” he explains. “I don’t ever send them the letter, but I let it all out, all of my truth. And by letting it out and by letting my anger out safely, it stops me from going and doing something harmful.”

It’s essentially a safe space to vent, and it can help you unravel the complexities of your emotions. Seeing your thoughts on paper can provide a different perspective and help you understand and manage your anger better.

Taking this time to journal can also be a powerful tool for intentioning. By reflecting on your anger triggers and exploring healthier ways to respond, you can set the intention to approach similar situations differently in the future.

Own Your Anger, Own Your Life

The next time anger rears its fiery head, remember: It’s not your enemy. It’s a signal, a call to action. By understanding your anger and expressing it healthily, you can unlock a powerful tool for self-discovery, positive change, and stronger relationships.

As Leon says, “Small steps, and inside that small step is something massive.”

If you want access to more in-depth insights into the world of emotions, tune in to Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s Honest Conversations, where she explores all things emotional intelligence with insightful guests and practical tips. You won’t regret it.

Episode resources:

• Leon Logothetis | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

• Leon Logothetis | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠

• Leon Logothetis | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠⁠

• Leon Logothetis | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Twitter

• Leon Logothetis | ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Website