Feeling lost, navigating anxiety, or struggling to find love for who you are — could these be signs beckoning you towards a journey to the self? But it’s not about searching far and wide; it’s a trip inward.
“Any path back to your self where that story starts is you being kind of dragged away from yourself,” says Sissi Nylia Benita, an Estonian singer and energy healer, in an episode of Honest Conversations with Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani.
It’s a process of unwinding and rebinding. And each step is a reprogramming towards nurturing kindness, embracing empowerment, and living authenticity.
Sissi Nylia Benita is a multifaceted Estonian artist known for her soulful voice and heartfelt music. As a singer, composer, and songwriter, she has made a significant mark in Estonia’s music scene, securing second place in “Eesti otsib superstaari” and achieving top rankings in the Estonian Song competitions with her singles “Strong” and “Time.” Beyond the stage, Sissi has faced and overcome personal health challenges, which led her to a profound journey of healing. After encountering an osteopath who showed her the power of inner healing, she has embraced spirituality and energy work. Today, Sissi shares her knowledge by guiding hundreds of women to discover their individuality through human design. Her experiences have not only shaped her artistic expression but also turned her into a healer, helping others find balance and harmony within themselves.
What Is the Journey to the Self?
The journey to the self is about getting to know who you really are, away from what you’ve been through or what people say you should be. It’s like taking a deep look inside yourself to find true strength and self-love.
“If you have a diesel car and you put ordinary gasoline in it, you will kind of destroy the car, right?” Sissi explains. “So it’s the same with us. If we have a certain way of operating and now we try to operate differently because of societal pressure, our families, friends, we’re breaking ourselves.”
This means that if you live in a way that others expect, you’re not being true to yourself, and that can hurt you. However, by learning about and using your own energy, you can get closer to the heart of who you are, making yourself stronger and more alive.
And this idea isn’t just something you might feel; it’s also what research is supporting. One study, for instance, shows that when you look inside yourself, you better understand your own values and actions. This self-awareness leads to greater happiness, improved relationships, and higher job satisfaction for you.
3 Steps to Navigating Your Journey to the Self
Navigating your journey to the self is like setting out on a path to discover what makes you truly happy and at peace. This means taking steps to understand your personal values and desires.
Here are three that you can start with to help you on the journey to your ultimate self:
1. Healing the Inner Child
When you ignore your inner child, you might carry the weight of unresolved emotional trauma into your adult life. This can show up as difficulties in trusting others, forming deep relationships, or truly accepting yourself.
Consider Sissi’s journey. “I developed this belief that if I am who I am… I will get punished for this,” she shares. Because of what happened to her when she was young, she learned to stay quiet about what she needed, which caused her a lot of pain and worry later on.
Healing the inner child is about recognizing and nurturing these wounded parts of ourselves. Sissi began her healing by embracing her passion for singing and daring to examine her inner truths. You, too, can embark on this healing path. By facing and tending to your emotional trauma, you step towards a life that’s authentically yours, free from the shadows of the past.
To start healing the inner child, you need to listen — to your pain and your body—and recognize and nurture these wounded parts of yourself. Sissi found her way by singing and looking inside herself, and you can find your own way too. By doing this, you open the door to a life that feels like it’s really yours.
2. Discovering Yourself Through Human Design
Human design is a unique system that acts like a personal guide, showing you how to align your life with your innate characteristics and energy. It’s about understanding the vehicle you travel in — your body and personality — and learning not to work against your own nature.
When you discover it, like Sissi did during a significant turning point in her life, you can unlock a deeper connection with your authentic self. It’s a tool that, as she highlights, “really helps you come home to yourself.”
And as you explore this concept, you’ll learn to recognize and trust your body’s wisdom, embracing energy work that affirms your life choices. This knowledge empowers you to prioritize your well-being and happiness, as you’re reminded to be kind to yourself on this journey.
3. Be Honest With Yourself
People often hide from their truths, choosing denial or distortion over reality. This happens because facing the full truth can feel unsafe, and to protect themselves, they sometimes create a more comforting story.
Sissi believes that adopting a mindset that embraces finding your truth can lead to powerful healing. She says, “I believe that being honest with yourself is a journey. Like, it takes some time to get to the point where you have your own coping mechanisms, healthy coping mechanisms that you can look at the truth.”
As she suggests, this could mean starting small. Find someone trustworthy—a friend, a therapist, or a family member—who will listen without judgment.
This support can be the healing power of you, allowing you to uncover and accept your truths gradually. It’s really not about uncovering everything at once, but rather taking it one step at a time on this journey to the self.
Nurturing Your Ultimate Self
“Our whole body, our mind, our spiritual body — it’s all one connected system,” Sissi points out. “If one thing’s out of balance, it’s going to throw the other things out of balance.”
So if life’s path seems unclear, if worry weighs heavily on you, or if embracing your unique self feels challenging, turn your focus inward. Listen carefully to what your mind is saying, become aware of your body’s signals, and seek to understand the emotions you’re experiencing.
If you’re ready to learn more, tune into Honest Conversations with Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani. Each episode can help you find the necessary balance so you can nurture your whole self.
Tatiana Azman is a content writer for Mindvalley and a Certified Life Coach. With a background in spa and wellness as well as being a cancer survivor, she's constantly on the lookout for natural, effective ways that help with one's overall well-being.