Be a wizard of words like Steve Jobs

Ever wonder why some people light up a room with their words? They’re not just smooth talkers; they’re “Wizards of Words.”

Sure, it sounds like a fancy title. But it’s really a mastered skill of communication and connection—something Christopher Kai, a leading expert in networking, knows all too well.

In his interview with Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani on Honest Conversations, he reveals the secrets to mastering effective communication and connection. The bottom line? Focusing less on what to say and more on listening and asking questions. 

And it’s that essence that transforms you from a nervous networker to a confident conversationalist.

Christopher Kai is not just the founder and CEO of The Mathem Group in Beverly Hills; he’s a driving force in leadership and sales training. As a world-leading authority in story-based leadership and a Fortune 100 global speaker, his accomplishments shine brightly. He’s also celebrated as the #1 global best-selling author. Leading the innovative GPS, a premier speaker training program, he connects with clients in 120 cities, spanning 29 countries and six continents. Previously, Christopher honed his skills as a business strategist and executive speechwriter at American Express, shaping his journey into a guiding force for leaders worldwide.

What Does “Wizard of Words” Mean, Anyway?

The “Wizard of Words,” according to Christopher, boils down to this: Can you express yourself in a way that conveys enthusiasm, excitement, or energy so the person that’s listening to you wants to know about you? 

Simply put, it’s how well you use language as influence and persuasion, to captivate and connect deeply with others. You’d weave in stories that resonate, conversations that inspire, and interactions that leave lasting impressions.

It involves a blend of storytelling techniques and a genuine interest in others, a skill that Steve Jobs and Bill Gates were wizards at. As Christopher explains, “Storytelling is so huge because stories are 22 times more memorable.”

His advice might’ve been for professional networking, but when you become a “Wizard of Words,” you’re able to transform everyday exchanges into meaningful dialogues.

How to Network Effectively: Christopher Kai’s 5 Top Tips to Be a Wizard of Words

Networking, like any art, has its techniques. Christopher lays out some simple yet effective strategies you can use to enhance your networking skills.

Here are his top five tips:

1. Changing Your Mindset About Networking

Dreading networking? Here’s Christopher’s secret: It’s all about your perspective. It’s a chance to grow, learn, and meet amazing people.

“If you’re going into [the event] thinking that ‘Oh my gosh, they’re going to ask these questions,’ then that I don’t think is the best starting point,” he explains. “But if you go in thinking, ‘Oh I get to share exciting stories, I get to learn,’ then [your mindset] just changes​​.”

Each person you meet holds the key to new ideas, potential mentors, or even future friends. So, next time you head to an event, be kind to yourself and look at it as a chance to turn a stressful obligation into an exciting adventure.

2. Find Your Conversation Starters

Sometimes, it’s the small, light-hearted comments that open doors. As Christopher suggests, channeling your creative superpower and finding a casual “talking point”—it’s a great way to break the ice.

Start by observing your surroundings. Is someone sporting a cool accessory? Did you both overhear an interesting conversation earlier?

It’s all about finding common ground. Perhaps their unique watch sparks a story about a special trip, or your shared admiration for the speaker leads to a discussion about their insights.

These casual talking points not only make the other person feel comfortable but also create a more relaxed and genuine atmosphere.

3. Ask Open-Ended Questions

“Yes.”

“No.”

Silence.

Yes/no responses often lead nowhere—that’s why they call them closed-ended questions. So rather than finding yourself in a dead-end conversation, Christopher suggests questions that encourage deeper discussion. 

“If you focus just on those open-ended questions, you’ll be shocked at how much people love talking about themselves,” he points out. Even research shows that successful small talk involves more follow-up questions. This shows genuine interest in others’ thoughts and experiences, making conversations engaging and memorable.

By asking open-ended questions, you create room for stories, opinions, and insights. And this makes the conversation more engaging and memorable.

4. Be Intentional and Prepared

Before any networking event, do your research. Understand who will be there and why they might be relevant to your goals.

“If you’re going into events, at the very least, you research the speaker,” Christopher advises. “Just knowing a little bit about them conveys a sense of curiosity, but also a sense of comfort to know that you’re not going [into the event] blind.”

You’ll also be able to approach conversations with a purpose, building professional relationships with clients, mentors, or collaborators. With that said, also be ready to succinctly describe your own background and interests in a way that aligns with your networking intentions.

5. Cultivate Genuine Interest

Networking isn’t just about yourself. Rather, it’s about others’ stories and experiences.

This means engaging in conversations with an open mind and a desire to learn. “If you don’t let them talk, you don’t know about who they are,” Christopher explains. “If you talk too much, then you don’t really convey much.”

It’s part of your personal branding, really. When you show that you care about what the other person has to say, you not only make them feel valued but also increase the likelihood of forming a meaningful connection. 

Keep in mind, “your demeanor conveys your value,” as Christopher says. Genuine interest equals to fostering trust and building rapport—all of which are the cornerstones of successful networking strategies.

5 Networking Mistakes You Want to Avoid

Even the best-intentioned efforts can be hindered by common mistakes. To be a “Wizard of Words,” here are five faux pas you’ll want to steer clear of:

• Lack of research and preparation: Entering a networking event without any background knowledge or clear objectives can lead to missed opportunities.

• Talking too much: Remember, networking is a two-way street. Dominating the conversation can prevent you from learning about others and forming connections.

• Focusing solely on business: While professional interests are important, solely focusing on business can make interactions feel transactional. Don’t forget to explore personal connections.

• Neglecting to follow up: Networking doesn’t end at the event. Failing to follow up with new connections can mean losing out on potential opportunities.

• Ignoring body language: Non-verbal cues are as important as words. Ignoring them can lead to misinterpretations and missed signals.

Don’t go in with the intention of collecting contacts. Go in to make genuine connections.

Your Next Connection Awaits…

Ditch the networking awkwardness and become a confident connector. Christopher Kai’s sitdown with Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani on Honest Conversations is filled with so many practical tips…to ask insightful questions, to craft captivating stories, and to build meaningful connections.

Your networking will be on fire. And you, too, will stand among the “Wizards of Words.”

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