Boardroom to bedroom relationship hacks

Isn’t it strange that the very thing you’ve been doing since you uttered your first word as toddlers—communicating—can sometimes feel like navigating through an impenetrable forest? 

A misinterpreted text here, an awkwardly phrased email there, and voilà!, you find yourself lost in the wilderness of miscommunication. Frustrations arise, relationships teeter on the edge of cliffs, and you feel like you’re playing an endless game of charades, trying to decipher the meanings behind words, actions, or the dreaded silence.

But what if there were handy relationship hacks that could transform this scenario?

In an episode of the Honest Conversations series with Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, Dr. Gilda Carle shares some remarkable insights that can help you articulate your thoughts clearly and ensure you’re heard and understood.

Dr. Gilda Carle is an internationally known relationship expert who has made a significant impact on millions of people worldwide. With a wealth of experience, she has authored 17 books, delivered motivational speeches, and appeared as a relationship expert on television shows. Dr. Gilda’s expertise extends beyond her counseling practice, as she has served as a product spokesperson for major corporations, including Hallmark and Match.com. 

How Ineffective Communication Can Impact Relationships

Imagine you’re in a project meeting where everyone is buzzing with ideas. You believe you’ve found the perfect solution to the challenge at hand, and you explain your strategy with all the passion of a seasoned explorer unveiling a new discovery. 

As you conclude, you expect applause (or at least some appreciative nods). But instead, you’re met with blank stares and a chilling silence.

It’s far from feeling worthy; it’s downright disheartening. And even a bit embarrassing.

Here’s the thing about communication that many of us struggle with: we often assume it’s all about stating our point. 

In the corporate training that Dr. Carle was doing, she noticed that people were communicating. However, “they were missing each other,” she explains. “They weren’t hearing each other really speak about what the things were that they were meaning to speak about.”

According to a Salesforce survey, 86% of employees and executives cite a lack of collaboration or ineffective communication as reasons for workplace failures. And this exemplifies the misconception.

But it’s not just at work; it’s in your personal relationships as well. (Hence, “boardroom to bedroom,” as Dr. Carle highlights.) One study found that over 67% of marriages ended mainly because of miscommunication.

With such a profound impact on our lives, it’s time we start treating communication as more than just a mere exchange of words. After all, it’s the very glue that binds our relationships together.

Why Is Effective Communication One of the Main Relationship Hacks?

Communication is the way you share your ideas, feelings, and needs. And doing it effectively helps you understand the other person better and, as a result, makes your relationships stronger.

What’s more, in this digital age where video calls are the norm, understanding and mastering non-verbal cues is as crucial as the message itself. After all, it amounts to 55% of communication, as according to Dr. Albert Mehrabian’s 7-38-55 rule (tone of voice (38%), and verbal (7%) make up the other).

That goes for all connections—in the office, at home, on the streets, and what have you. But in this instance, let’s take a closer look at how it helps in “the boardroom” and in “the bedroom”:

• Professional relationships. Within a work environment, this bridge of communication helps teams collaborate effectively. Think of it as the sturdy platform that brings together different people, each with unique ideas, and aligns them towards a common goal.
  
  When everyone is on the same page, knowing their role and the purpose behind it, the team can function smoothly and deliver superior results.

• Personal relationships. Knowing how to connect with your partner on a deeper level helps form the essence of how you relate to your loved ones. Additionally, it helps express your thoughts, emotions, and needs clearly.
  
  It’s through this clear and effective communication that you set realistic expectations, build stronger bonds, and deepen our understanding of one another. 

“The way we communicate with other people and the way they hear us and interpret what we have to say is extremely important,” says Dr. Carle. “That’s the channel [through which] we deliver what we have to say.”

It’s important to remember, though, that it’s a two-way process, not a monologue. And stellar communication skills aren’t a birthright—they’re learned and honed over time. 

3 Relationship Hacks to Better Communicate In Relationships, According to Dr. Gilda Carle

In the sit-down with Kristina, Dr. Carle offers a wealth of tips for a successful relationship through effective and intuitive communication. Here are the top three nuggets:

1. Find your communication style

Dr. Carle emphasizes the importance of what she calls “style flexing.” It’s your ability to adapt communication styles to connect with different people effectively.

It’s essentially being a communication chameleon, adjusting your colors to match the situation and person you’re having conversations with. For example, maybe with one person, you need to use an intuitive communication style, but with another, you need to use a more direct approach.

As Dr. Carle explains, “When you see that your style is missing the audience for one reason or another, like if you have nobody in the chat, nobody’s raising their hand, or nobody’s doing Q&A, then you have to change that style to something that’s more interesting to the audience at hand.”

2. Learn how to “edutrain”

“Nobody wants to speak to anybody or hear from anybody unless they know ‘what’s in it for me,’” explains Dr. Carle. That’s where “edutrainment”—the combination of “education” and “entertainment”—comes in.

“We have to become edu-trainers and entertainers all combined,” says Dr. Carle, “because we have got to hold people’s interests.”

While it may sound silly, it’s pivotal. This way of engaging and holding people’s attention makes the message more impactful. And incorporating humor, stories, and real-life examples can help bring this to life.

3. The power of authenticity

As you may know, authenticity and being true to oneself are topics Kristina advocates for. And when it comes to relationship hacks, Dr. Carle underscores their importance.

Believe it or not, being authentic in the way you are helps build trust and rapport, creating stronger, more meaningful connections. In fact, a study by Cohn & Wolfe found that authenticity is one of the top qualities that attract consumers, employees, and other stakeholders. In personal relationships, authenticity fosters closeness and satisfaction.

But what Dr. Carle highlights is that authenticity, especially in communication, doesn’t start with other people. It starts with you. No smoke and mirrors, no theatrics—just you being your best and most authentic self. 

“Bet on yourself,” she encourages. “Project your best self forward.” 

Because at the end of the day, who wants to play roles when you can just play yourself, right? And in doing so, you’ll find self-confidence and live a more heart-centered life.

The Chatter That Matters

If there’s one of the most powerful relationship hacks out there, it’s communication. No ifs, ands, or buts about it.

After all, we all have in us the need to feel connected. “It’s our evolutionary trait,” says Kristina in a video on Mindvally, which she is the co-founder of. “We feel that connection is something [that] keeps us safe.”

And communication, especially when you can do it authentically, is connection. 

The truth is, we all have the capacity to be effective communicators, even you. But sometimes, we just need a little nudge in the right direction.

Dr. Gilda Carle’s insights serve as that gentle nudge, guiding you towards a more profound understanding of yourself and your interactions. It’s something that can transform your life, turning sour relationships sweet and enabling professional endeavors to flourish. 

Episode resources:

Dr. Gilda Carle | ⁠Instagram⁠

Dr. Gilda Carle | ⁠Facebook⁠

Dr. Gilda Carle | ⁠Website

And if you want more insights like these, you can watch the full interview on Kristina’s YouTube channel: