Celebrate your flaws: 15 perfectly imperfect quotes to live by
The unshakable truth is this: None of us is perfect. We have flaws, make mistakes, and experience moments of self-doubt.
However, in a society that celebrates perfection above all else, it’s difficult to remember that your flaws are what make you beautifully human.
“I long to be myself, fully, unapologetically, 100%,” says Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley, in her book Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life. And by showing kindness to your shadows and letting go of the desire for perfection, so can you.
As a reminder to embrace all aspects of yourself and connect to your wholesomeness, here’s a roundup of perfectly imperfect quotes.
What if you could come out on the other side of perfectionism and realize that everything you’ve ever wanted is imperfect? Would you let go of being flawless and embrace your true nature? Would you unburden your soul from the unrealistic version you created of yourself?
In the process of doing so, you might realize that you can truly find beauty in your life by uncovering the flawesome (Kristina’s word for the awesomeness of your flaws) greatness within.
Can you believe that even Marilyn Monroe, one of the greatest icons of female beauty, embraced her imperfections unapologetically? Despite being aware of her flaws, she managed to shine her light and win the hearts of an entire world.
Imagine just how much power lies in owning her authenticity. And imagine that power being in each and every one of us.
Running away from your feelings can look like self-sabotaging behavior. You ditch long-term results for short-term pleasure and repress all painful emotions with a “good vibes only” attitude.
But while numbing your emotions may provide temporary relief from your emotional “hell,” it’s a slippery slope that can lead to more significant problems down the road.
Studies have linked emotional numbing to depression and worsened PTSD symptoms. And experts in psychosomatics, like Dr. Gabor Maté, have found that unresolved emotions can even manifest as physical illnesses.
You may get to your end goal, and you may succeed in pleasing everyone around you. But in reality, you’re the only person who’s going to be there no matter what.
When you focus on falling in love with yourself, you realize it’s the most intense and passionate relationship you’ve ever had. It never gets boring.
And the best part of it all is that it lasts forever.
Those parts of yourself that you tend to hide or run away from represent your “dragons,” as Kristina calls them. However, embracing your wholesomeness and living authentically is all about accepting yourself in both your darkness and your light.
You can dismantle your idea of perfection to benefit your path to self-actualization. And sooner or later, you may come to realize that nothing will make you feel more whole than facing your shadows and showing up for the most unappreciated parts of yourself.
The word “failing” can make people cringe. It sounds like the ultimate defeat and the most shattering shame. But it happens to everyone, from the littlest mistakes to the biggest setbacks.
Take J.K. Rowling, for example. Before she became a household name due to the Harry Potter series, she was rejected by 12 different publishers.
So failure doesn’t mean that’s who you truly are. Rather, it means it’s your chance to grow.
The greatest act of self-compassion is owning your authenticity and letting it shine through every word or action.
Sometimes, it might come with grace and ease. But other times, you’ll need to be radically honest with yourself.
And once you get a taste of what it means to live from your core, you’ll probably never want to come back to the burdensome days of hiding who you truly are.
Truth be told, the way you view and treat yourself is a reflection of how others view and treat you. When you show yourself nothing but love, kindness, and respect, it’s like giving people an instruction manual on how to do the same.
Owning your authenticity attracts people who can truly see and appreciate it. And those who can’t may not even matter to you anymore, because you already have the most valuable person who acknowledges it: yourself.
Despite the most seemingly convincing reasons why you don’t feel enough, your vulnerability and imperfections make you even more lovable.
Think about it: You most probably love to connect with people who seem genuinely themselves and are courageous enough to own their insecurities, not the ones who portray an image of perfection. And it goes the same for you.
Perfectionism won’t bring you the connection you long for but rather will keep your heart guarded against the love that you truly deserve.
When you think of prioritizing, you probably think of putting something at the top of your to-do list, right? But what about prioritizing your own happiness?
Sometimes we get so caught up in the day-to-day grind that we forget to make our own happiness a priority. It’s like we’re waiting for it to magically appear as a reward for all the struggles and hardships we face.
Think of it like packing for a trip: you can’t just throw everything into your suitcase and hope for the best. And it’s the same with your happiness. You can take the time to plan out what makes you happy and prioritize those exact things, packing up for a joyful and fulfilling life.
That spark within your soul makes you utterly beautiful. Your unique light shines through the darkness of all times and guides you to the experiences that make your life worth living.
However, the more you strive for perfection, the more disconnected you might feel from your inner wisdom.
Do you agree that you can’t sit down and stand up at the same time? It goes the same for having the desire to control your life and actually feeling in control of it.
So the more you resist and try to manipulate your reality, the more lack you’ll experience. But once you embrace the true, authentic beauty of your soul, life will flow with grace and ease.
Imagine a place where everyone wants to design the same exact life for themselves in order to be happy. With all of us being perfectly imperfect, how can society’s definition of happiness apply to us as a collective?
What makes our world exciting is that people are different, but we all somehow have a place in this Universe. It’s like an enormous puzzle that fits perfectly together to paint a picture because its pieces are not the same.
By destroying imperfection, would the world turn into a utopian dreamland? Or would it become a robotized society where everyone is striving to fit into the same definition of “good,” “decent,” “beautiful,” or “successful?”
While it’s sometimes difficult to accept, imperfection lies in the nature of the Universe. In fact, studies have shown that “without genetic imperfections, there would be no evolution of any life form and all progeny would be identical to their ancestors.”
It’s good food for thought. And you may reflect on how embracing imperfection not only drives you to evolve, but also teaches you to be compassionate, kind, loving, and accepting.
It nurtures the courage to learn from your mistakes and welcome your most teary-eyed moments with gentleness. And additionally, it gives you the space to feel connected to other perfectly imperfect people who are also trying to find their way, just as you do.
Most perfectly imperfect quotes will talk about how striving for perfection is pointless because existence itself is not supposed to be flawless.
You can never predict or control what life may throw at you. It could be pain, disappointment, tragedy, or fury; but it will never run out of ways to surprise you.
However, you can always choose your response. And how would everything turn out if you responded with kindness and compassion?
Let that sink in for a moment.
Experience Your Flawesomeness
Perfectly imperfect quotes can open the doors to reflection and clarity of what’s deeply important to you. You may not find the answers right away, but with some guidance, there just may be some revelations.
Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s book, Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life, could be the wake-up call you’re looking for.
Filled with quips, tips, and a metaphor featuring Hermione Granger of Harry Potter, you’ll find that being radically honest, accepting, loving, and compassionate is the best way to live.
This articles has been originally published on Mindvalley Blog and has been re-posted here with author’s permission.
Alexandra Tudor
Alexandra Tudor is a former content writer for Mindvalley and a psychology enthusiast. From clinical experience working with both children and adults, she's now in the process of becoming a licensed psychotherapist, specializing in the IFS method and family constellation therapy.
Building empathy in a fractured world
You’re sprawled on the couch on a lazy Sunday afternoon, caught up in the thrall of a captivating movie. The main character, after battling adversity, finally reaches their moment of triumph. And you? You feel an unexplainable rush of exhilaration.
Oddly, it feels as though their victory is your victory. Or perhaps it’s a heart-wrenching scene where they crumble under the weight of loss. And despite being a spectator, your heart aches as if the loss were your own.
Ever wondered why this happens? That, as you may very well know, is the magic of empathy at work. It’s a powerful emotion—a bridge of shared feelings that, for a moment, blurs the boundaries between self and others.
In our world of countless cultures, beliefs, and perspectives, understanding each other can feel like deciphering an alien language. And in these moments of difference, empathy acts as our universal translator, fostering connection, understanding, and compassion.
But there’s more to empathy than meets the eye. And that’s at the heart of the conversation with Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani and empathy expert Dr. Jamil Zaki on Honest Conversations.
Dr. Jamil Zaki is a distinguished psychology professor at Stanford University. At the helm of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab, he dedicates his research to unraveling the mysteries of empathy and fostering it more effectively. Not just confined to academia, his insightful writings on empathy have caught the attention of prestigious outlets like the New York Times and the New Yorker.
What Is Empathy?
Empathy, simply put, is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s feeling the echo of someone else’s emotions within your own heart.
Here are some empathy examples:
The involuntary tear that escapes your eyes when you see someone crying
The instinctive smile when you watch someone laugh their heart out, and
That electric surge of triumph you feel in your bones when you’re amidst a crowd watching your favorite team clinch the championship title, even though you’re not the one on the field.
This extraordinary human capacity isn’t a fixed trait—something we’re born with or not. Rather, according to Dr. Zaki, a renowned professor of psychology at Stanford University and author of The War for Kindness, it’s a skill that can be trained, honed, and developed over time.
What’s more, empathy is more than just understanding; it’s also about shared feelings.
Interestingly, one study found that 98% of people have the ability to empathize (so if you’re someone who lacks empathy, know that you’re not alone and there’s hope for you yet!). This shows that empathy isn’t just for the select few; it’s a universal trait deeply ingrained in our human nature.
Empathy vs. kindness vs. compassion
In our everyday conversations, words like “empathy,” “kindness,” and “compassion” are often used together. However, each of these terms represents a distinct aspect of our emotional responses and interactions with others.
In his conversation with Kristina, Dr. Zaki breaks it down:
Empathy. He explains that empathy “acts as an umbrella term for three ways we respond to the emotions of others”: emotional empathy (when we share or mirror the feelings of others), cognitive empathy (the detective work we do to understand what’s going on in someone else’s mind), and compassion.
Compassion: Unlike the first two types of empathy, compassion goes beyond merely understanding or sharing emotions—it’s about fostering a sense of feeling worthy in someone. It’s the longing for others to feel better, especially when they’re immersed in suffering.
Kindness, on the other hand, goes beyond just feeling and understanding; it involves taking actions to improve someone else’s well-being. It’s the helping hand extended, the comforting word spoken, or even the surprise coffee bought for a friend on a tough day.
What’s the connection between them?
“When we feel empathy, we’re much more likely to act kind,” Dr. Zaki explains. “People who feel empathy volunteer more; they’re more likely to donate to charity, and they’re more likely to help strangers.”
Understanding these nuances can help you navigate your interactions more mindfully. It encourages you not only to feel what others are feeling but also to act in ways that uplift them.
Why Is Empathy Important?
Chances are, you’re well aware of how big of a deal empathy is. But the question is why?
Here are a few reasons:
Empathy fosters social connections and nurtures relationships.
It acts as a magic wand, turning strangers into friends and friends into soulmates.
It’s also the glue that holds society together, promoting cooperation, understanding, and mutual respect.
Seeing past our differences and finding common ground in our shared humanity is possible through empathy.
Furthermore, when it comes to your personal growth and mental health, there are numerous empathy benefits. It helps reduce stress, fosters resilience, and promotes a sense of belonging and self-worth.
According to a study by the American Psychological Association, individuals who show high levels of empathy tend to report higher levels of happiness and success, further highlighting the importance of this wonderful trait.
How to Show Empathy: 3 Actionable Tips From Dr. Jamil Zaki
Someone you know may be hurting. Or there’s genuine joy to be expressed when they share good news. But finding the right words, at times, can be like a needle in a haystack.
Undoubtedly, you may have found yourself in situations where you grasp the emotions but fumble when it comes to displaying your understanding. It’s like having a beautiful melody in your mind, but when you try to hum it out…well, let’s just say that cats screeching in an alleyway might sound more harmonious!
So how can we bridge this gap between feeling and demonstrating empathy? Dr. Jamil Zaki has some insightful suggestions.
1. Empathize with purpose
It’s easy to empathize with those we love and care about, but how about aiming that empathy a little further?
“Empathy evolved as one of humans’ vital survival skills,” says Dr. Zaki in a The Partnershiparticle. “It is only through our foray into the modern world that we have lost touch with our evolutionary empathy. Deeply empathic people tend to be environmentally responsible, but our caring instincts are short-sighted and dissolve across space and time, making it harder for us to deal with things that haven’t happened yet.”
So direct your empathy towards those who are often overlooked or marginalized, such as the homeless, refugees, or those in distress.
But don’t stop there. Try to understand those who irritate, anger, or even scare you.
Remember, understanding doesn’t mean agreement. It simply means you’re attempting to see the world from their perspective. This intentional act of empathy can lead to greater tolerance and patience, qualities we could all do with a little more of.
2. Stretch your empathy
Empathy isn’t a well that runs dry, nor is it an exclusive club. It’s more like a muscle that grows stronger and more flexible the more you use it.
“We’re not stuck at one level of empathy throughout our lives,” explains Dr. Zaki. “Certain experiences, like a hateful political climate, can atrophy it; others, like having to manage two very different parents, can grow it, and we can grow our empathy on purpose through practice.”
So challenge yourself and break the people-pleasing patterns. Venture outside your comfort zone and attempt to empathize with individuals who are completely different from you. This could be someone from a different culture, race, religious background, or even political standpoint.
And by doing so, you are broadening your understanding of the world. This act fosters a deeper sense of interconnectedness.
3. Practice makes perfect
“Consistency is the key to mastery,” as the saying goes. The more you do it, the better you get.
Much like brushing your teeth or having your morning coffee, make empathy an integral part of your day and your character, much like brushing your teeth or having your morning coffee.
How, you ask? Dr. Zaki gives a few simple yet powerful examples, including:
Be more curious. Instead of assuming you know how someone feels, ask them about their experiences, thoughts, and feelings during your next conversation.
Engage in perspective-taking. Try to understand the perspective of the other person. This broadens your own understanding and fosters a sense of “being you” in your empathetic interactions.
Make it easier for others to empathize with you. Instead of asking others to work harder to understand you, try to be “a little bit easier to understand,” according to Dr. Zaki. “We can communicate more clearly, and we can become easier targets of empathy.”
The thing is, empathy is a vital ingredient in the recipe for a harmonious society. Yes, it requires some effort, but the payoff—a world filled with more understanding, kindness, and connection—is absolutely worth it.
Powering Up Your Heart’s GPS
If there’s one truth to embrace in life, it’s this: being you—authentically, wholly, unabashedly you —is the best gift you can give to the world. Empathy, in all its wonderful hues, is an integral part of this true self. It’s the cord that binds our shared humanity, connecting us in profound and beautiful ways.
This invisible bond isn’t just about understanding or sharing feelings; it’s about acknowledging your worthiness to experience and express these feelings. And in doing so, you’re not just a people-pleaser; you become a catalyst for happiness, success, and, most importantly, unity.
If you want to understand more about cultivating empathy, you can watch the full interview on Kristina’s YouTube channel.
Tatiana Azman is a content writer for Mindvalley and a Certified Life Coach. With a background in spa and wellness as well as being a cancer survivor, she's constantly on the lookout for natural, effective ways that help with one's overall well-being.
How to cultivate self-compassion and boost your self-esteem
We’re our own worst critics, but self-compassion can change that. With insights from Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, discover how to practice it for greater self-love.
Picture this: You just got shut down by your crush, and you’re left feeling like you’re not good enough. Enter self-doubt, berating you for every little mistake you’ve ever made.
But, as Gramma Tala said in Moana, “Sometimes, who we wish we were, what we wish we could do, is just not meant to be.” She’s right—it’s not your fault that, in life, things just happen.
It’s a familiar internal struggle we all face from time to time. However, what if you could break that cycle? Enter self-compassion, throwing you a lifeline from the depths of your negative self-talk.
That’s the thing about this simple practice—it reaches its hand out to you when you’ve fallen and helps you back up to your feet. And here’s what you should know about it:
Showing kindness to yourself can have a ripple effect on those around you. In the words of Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley and author of Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life, “If you can learn to be kind and compassionate to yourself, you can learn to be truly kind and compassionate to others.”
What Is Self-Compassion?
As stated in the name, self-compassion is compassion for yourself. It’s about treating yourself with kindness and understanding, even when you make mistakes.
“Compassion is, by definition, relational,” explains Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research, in her book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. “Compassion literally means ‘to suffer with,’ which implies a basic mutuality in the experience of suffering.”
It’s a concept from Buddhist thought, according to the American Psychology Association’s self-compassion definition, that involves self-forgiveness, patience, and grace. And this practice helps avoid the negative thoughts and feelings that come from being too hard on yourself.
For instance, imagine you’re feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to succeed and you make a mistake. Instead of being hard on yourself, self-compassion helps you accept that, sometimes in life, you’ll slip up.
What self-compassion is not
Self-compassion is a lot of things—it’s kindness, love, acceptance, care, forgiveness, empathy, nurturing, support, understanding, respect, grace, and patience. But what is it not? Here’s a closer look:
It’s not self-pity. Feeling sorry for yourself can often lead to a victim mentality. But self-compassion involves approaching your own pain and suffering with kindness and understanding.
It’s not self-indulgence. When you give in to every whim, it’s usually at the cost of your well-being in the long run. With self-compassion, you care for yourself in a healthy, balanced way, like making difficult choices or setting boundaries.
It’s not self-esteem.High self-esteem, as Dr. Neff explains, is often linked to the “need to feel superior to others just to feel okay about oneself.” Self-compassion, on the other hand, involves accepting yourself as you, flaws and all, and responding to your struggles with kindness and support.
It’s not self-criticism. Judging yourself harshly may lead you to focus only on your faults and shortcomings. With self-compassion, however, you’re able to treat yourself with kindness and understanding even when you’re faced with failure or difficulty.
It’s not selfishness. Compassion has no room for the suffering of others due to your self-interests. It does, however, encourage you to take care of yourself in a way that allows you to better connect with others.
When you’re able to understand what self-compassion is and what it’s not, you can start cultivating a healthier relationship with yourself. It’s as Dr. Neff says, “Being human is not about being any one particular way; it’s about being as life creates you—with your own particular strengths and weaknesses, gifts and challenges, quirks and oddities.”
Why Should We Practice Self-Compassion?
We’ve all beaten ourselves up over a mistake at one point or another. That’s where self-compassion can show you how to better handle the situation.
The emotion of compassion springs from the recognition that the human experience is imperfect.— Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer in self-compassion research
So here’s a list of reasons to be kinder to yourself:
Improved emotional well-being. According to one study, individuals who are kind to themselves report experiencing less anxiety, depression, and stress. This suggests it’ll help with self-soothing, especially during difficult situations.
Better physical health. Research has shown that when you embrace this characteristic, you’re likely to have lower levels of inflammation and improved sleep quality. As a result, your immune function will be better.
Greater resilience. A 2009 study shows that self-compassionate individuals have the tenacity and perseverance to face life stressors, like job loss, relationship problems, or chronic illness. And this practice can help you be more resilient to negative emotions and thoughts.
Increased motivation. A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin found that the participants who received self-compassion training were more motivated to keep going when faced with a difficult task. Those who received self-esteem training didn’t have the same drive.
More satisfying relationships. When your inner self is kind, your external self will follow suit. And that will expand to those around you. As one study suggests, “self-compassionate individuals displayed more positive relationship behavior than those who lacked [it].”
“Love is a wonderful skill, and I wish we all knew how to practice it properly,” says Kristina in Becoming Flawesome. “But where love fails, kindness remains.” And that includes kindness toward yourself.
How to Practice Self-Compassion: 3 Bookmarkable Tips From Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani
If Moana showed us anything, it’s that compassion is key to achieving goals. Even when Maui refused to help her, Moana didn’t beat herself up or give in to self-doubt. Instead, she cut herself some slack when she needed to and continued to find a solution to save her island and her people.
We could all take a cue from the princess of Motunui. And with tips from Kristina, here’s what to keep in mind when you start practicing self-compassion.
1. Practice radical self-honesty
When it comes to honesty, it’s, more often than not, the best policy. Even when it comes to yourself. And “radical self-honesty,” according to Kristina, is about being completely truthful with yourself about your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
It requires two things from you:
To acknowledge and accept your strengths and weaknesses without judgment, and
To confront uncomfortable truths about yourself.
By doing so, you’ll be able to overcome the need for perfectionism. Instead, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of who you are and make more informed decisions about your life.
Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s tip: “Your relationship with the world is a mirror reflection of your relationship with yourself. Once you fix your relationship with yourself, your relationship with the world will fall into place.”
2. Be kind to yourself
“Kindness is a vastly disregarded and undervalued quality that we seldom hear about,” says Kristina. It’s not only an act of self-compassion but also an essential aspect of self-love.
It involves a conscious effort to treat yourself with the same warmth, care, and understanding that you’d show the ones you love. And this can be done by practicing self-care, setting healthy boundaries, and speaking to yourself in a positive, gentle way.
Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s tip: “Sincere kindness can be expressed in any circumstance when love cannot. You don’t need to love someone to be kind to them. You don’t need to condone or respect someone to be kind to them. You don’t even need to truly care, but you can still be kind. You can be kind when you are sad, grieved, upset, and angry. You can always be kind. Always.”
3. Have the courage to accept your authentic self
There’s greatness that comes when you fully embrace your authenticity. It means welcoming all parts of yourself, including the ones you may be tempted to hide or deny.
But as Moana says, “Sometimes, our strengths lie beneath the surface, far beneath, in some cases.”
There are flaws you’ll have to accept, on top of the vulnerability that comes with acknowledging those imperfections. But on the other side, it can lead you to a greater sense of fulfillment and connection with others. It just takes some courage on your end.
Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s tip: “Courage is an easily trainable skill. And the way to train it is [through] practice. To become more courageous, literally, you have to start doing things that you are naturally afraid of.”
5 Mindfulness Self-Compassion Exercises
When it comes to mindful self-compassion, think of it as being like Moana’s pig, Pua—aware of your surroundings, but not judging them, and always ready to give yourself a gentle oink of reassurance.
And to cultivate that level of awareness for yourself, here are some self-compassion exercises inspired by Dr. Neff’s practices that you can try:
1. Take the Self-Compassion Scale
How compassionate are you? There’s a scale for that.
Created by Dr. Neff, the Self-Compassion Scale is a tool that measures how kind and understanding you are to yourself. The 26-item self-report allows you to recognize areas where you may need to be more aware of your self-talk and inner critic, as well as identify areas where you may need to practice more self-compassion.
2. Self-compassion meditation
This practice involves directing love, kindness, and well wishes toward yourself and others. And there’s power in what compassion meditation can do—it increases positive emotions, reduces negative ones, and improves your general well-being.
During the meditation, focus on your breath and repeat mantra phrases, like “May I be happy,”“may I be healthy,” and“may I be at peace.”
And when you do this on the daily, you may find yourself shifting from a place of indifference to compassion.
3. Self-compassion break
Stress and overwhelm are like water in a boat—the more it comes in, the more the boat (and you) sink. It takes such a toll on your mental health.
So when you find yourself in these moments, take a pause. Then, take these three simple steps:
Acknowledge your stress,
Remind yourself that this is a part of life, and
Offer kind words to yourself.
It’s a fairly simple practice to get away from worrying about the “what ifs” and back into the present state.
4. Mindful breathing
In this chaotic world we live in, there’s a need to calm the mind and get some peace and quiet. Mindful breathing can help with just that.
In her book, Kristina suggests the box breathing technique, which is “particularly good for restoring balance”:
Breathe in to the count of four,
Hold your breath to the count of four,
Breathe out to the count of four,
Hold your breath to the count of four.
Repeat this technique for a few rounds.
“Focusing on your physical sensations and actively relaxing will not only help you let go of tension and physical discomfort,” she adds, “but it will also shift your attention away from the painful emotions for a brief respite.”
5. Gratitude practice
A ton of people are familiar with this practice—using a gratitude journal to reflect on the good things in their lives. For those of you who don’t, think of it as a mental high-five to yourself.
That delicious salad you had for lunch? High five!
Your teen cleaned up their room without you asking so? High five!
You bought Kristina’s book? High five!
Focusing on the positive helps you develop a more optimistic outlook. It reminds you of the good things you have going for you, which in turn increases the compassion you have for yourself.
Celebrate Your Flawesomeness
Welcome to the compassion revolution—a movement that celebrates imperfection and self-love. In a world that constantly tells us we need to be perfect, Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s idea of “flawesome” (the awesomeness of your flaws) reminds us that being perfectly imperfect is what makes us human.
As Chief Tui in Moana reminds us, “There comes a day when you’re gonna look around and realize happiness is where you are.” By embracing self-compassion and accepting yourself for who you are, you can find the happiness you seek.
Kristina’s book, Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life, is a tribute to just that. And as you take in the wisdom she has imparted, you may just find yourself bathing in the beauty of your imperfections and welcoming with open arms the authentic you that you never knew.
This articles has been originally published on Mindvalley Blog and has been re-posted here with author’s permission.
Tatiana Azman
Tatiana Azman is a content writer for Mindvalley and a Certified Life Coach. With a background in spa and wellness as well as being a cancer survivor, she's constantly on the lookout for natural, effective ways that help with one's overall well-being.
7 Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani quotes on embracing imperfection
Striving for perfection can be exhausting. Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s words are here to remind you to embrace imperfections and bask in your flawesomeness.
Perfection seems to be the goal we’re all striving for. But how can we ever achieve perfection if we’re knowingly imperfect? It’s like trying to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow—we keep chasing it even though we know it doesn’t exist.
What if there were a way, though, to see those imperfections as something perfect?
That’s the essence of Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Lifeby Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley. The quotes from her book are like a breath of fresh air in a world that often seems suffocatingly perfect.
And to inspire you to embrace all your quirks and flawesomeness, here are some hand-picked quotes from her book. So grab a cup of tea (or coffee, if that’s your thing), and let’s get down to it.
1. Becoming Self-Accepting
The only person whose rejection you have to fear is your own. As long as you can accept yourself, the world has no choice but to accept you as well. And if it doesn’t, you won’t give a damn anyway.
Have you ever felt so joyful and giddy when someone invited you to be part of their group? It’s not an uncommon response—chest up, head high, and a smile that could go on for days.
What is it about acceptance from others that makes us feel good? And why do we rely on external sources to feel this way?
That’s what this perfectly imperfect quote pinpoints: when you’re constantly seeking other people to tell you that you’re worthy, it can lead to feelings of anxiety and depression. However, with self-validation, the opinions of others no longer hold the same power over you.
The best part of it all is that self-acceptance has mental health benefits. The results of a research study found that those who are able to recognize their worth are bound to be happier and more satisfied in life.
What you can do: Make a list of your positive qualities as a reminder of how great you really are.
And as you do, always keep in mind that being open to embracing all that you are comes with self-compassion and a lot of kindness. So instead of criticizing yourself, as the Plastics in Mean Girls do, try to approach yourself with understanding and forgiveness.
2. Becoming a Catalyst for Change
Change is not a natural consequence of pain; it is a sign of healing.
Change is about as fun as a root canal. Most of the time, we only give in when we’re forced to face our pain, like when we’re stuck in a relationship that’s about as delightful as a wet sock.
But here’s the reality of it: Just because you’re hurting doesn’t mean you change for the better. Nope.
Real change—the kind that turns you into the authentic version of yourself—only happens when you use that pain to heal your trauma. If you don’t, well, you’ll just keep on running on hurt without any positive change.
What you can do: It’s all about seeing pain as a chance for growth, like one of those “character-building” moments your mom always talks about. You’ve got the power to choose how you react to pain, so why not use it as a springboard to awesomeness?
3. Becoming a Self-Love Advocate
Self-care is about surviving, while self-love is about thriving.
They’re commonly mistaken for one or the other. But when it comes to self-love vs. self-care, there are some major differences to take note of.
Self-care revolves around taking care of your basic needs, ones that crop up on a daily basis. This can be in the form of getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising. And more often than not, when people talk about going for a massage or taking a bubble bath, they’re talking about self-care.
Self-love, at its core, is all about being BFFs with you. Consequently, it’s not just about routines or specific actions.
While self-care can support and nurture self-love, it doesn’t guarantee it. In many cases, self-care can be a sign of self-love, but it’s not always a one-way ticket to loving yourself.
When you know the nuanced differences between self-love and self-care, you can better address your own emotional and personal needs. And that, in turn, can help you nurture a deeper connection with yourself.
What you can do: If you’re looking for routines to take care of yourself, try spending time in nature, practicing being kind to yourself, or treating yourself to a great meal.
And if you’re looking for self-love ones, try practicing positive self-talk, acknowledging your achievements, and celebrating your wins.
4. Becoming Emotionally Resilient
I believe that the biggest problem of contemporary society is emotional analgesia. We learn to ignore emotional pain, focusing on the positive and demanding good vibes only, slapping on band-aids, and popping paracetamols to feel better, while our lives break and deteriorate from undetected trauma.
Tough times are inevitable—heartbreaks, losses, or just the everyday stress of adulting. And what did you do to cope?
Did you slap on a smile and pretend everything was fine? Or did you buy a pint of ice cream and go on a date with Netflix?
While these attempts to ignore your emotional pain may cover you for a minute, they won’t help you much in the long run. That’s where emotional resilience comes in.
There is plenty of research that shows how beneficial it can be. One such study found that when you’ve got high emotional resilience, you’re more likely to have greater well-being.
And why not? Much like Mister Fantastic of the Fantastic Four, this superpower helps you bounce back, adapt to stress and adversity, and thrive, even in tough times.
What you can do: The next time life throws you for a loop, don’t ignore it or drown it in a tub of ice cream. Instead, use it as an opportunity to build your emotional resilience.
You can do so by practicing being fully present in the moment. This can help you be more aware of the emotions you’re feeling and the thoughts and behaviors that come as a result. Try meditation, breathing exercises, and yoga—all great ways to practice mindfulness.
5. Becoming Unapologetically Happy
You will do this world a great favor if you allow yourself to prioritize your own happiness.
Imagine if the world were a bakery and happiness were the sugar that sweetened everything up. Be honest with yourself: Would you want to be the bland, sugarless muffin? Or would you prefer to be the sweet, delicious cinnamon roll?
Putting your diet aside, you’d most likely choose to be the cinnamon roll, right? So in life, why not choose happiness, too?
Plus, making it a priority for yourself isn’t just good for you; actually, it’s good for those around you. When you’re bubbling with joy, you radiate positive vibes, and that ripple effect spreads to everyone else.
And the best part? There’s evidence that shows prioritizing happiness is far from selfish—it’s actually selfless. That’s what this one study found: happy individuals tend to do more volunteer work, donate money, or help others.
What you can do: One way to cultivate your happiness is through gratitude. This helps you channel your focus on what you have instead of what you lack.
Grab a journal and write down three things you’re thankful for, starting today.
6. Becoming Aligned With Yourself
Your relationship with the world is a reflection of your relationship with yourself.
If you’re trying too hard to get things to go your way, this is one of Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s quotes that may just resonate with you. And perhaps inspire you to align yourself with what you value and believe.
Even research shows that this will help you experience less stress and more positive emotions. And what happens as a result? Better quality of life.
Because let’s be real: if you’re not happy with yourself, it’s going to be hard to find happiness elsewhere. But when you have a clearer sense of your values and interests, you’ll start making choices that align with them.
What you can do: Get to know yourself. Ask yourself these very important questions:
What makes you feel alive?
What are you interested in?
Can you name your strengths?
What about your weaknesses?
Learning how to be authentic is a journey and it’s okay if you’re not always on point. So remember to be patient and kind to yourself along the way.
7. Becoming Flawesome
Authenticity is not a switch—you cannot flick it on and off at will.
Here’s the honest truth: It’s time to let go of the idea that you have to be perfect all the time. Authenticity, in every sense of the word, is not about being perfect; it’s about being true to yourself, or, as Kristina puts it, “becoming flawesome.”
However, it’s not like a light switch; you can’t just be authentic one minute and unauthentic the next. It takes effort and time, but as with most things that require those two aspects, it’s worth it.
One study on positive self-statements supports this. Their findings show that when you’re able to accept your flaws, you’re more likely to have higher self-esteem. Plus, there’s less anxiety and depression.
Think of flawesomeness like a diamond—they’re not perfect, but it’s their imperfections that make them unique. The same goes for you. You don’t have to be flawless to be valuable and beautiful; you’re amazing as you are.
What you can do: If you’re looking for inspiration from someone who embraces their imperfections, head over to Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s Instagram page (for those of you who’re wondering, it’s @kristinamand).
She shares her personal thoughts and struggles, from feeling like an imposter to finding confidence. By being vulnerable and authentic, she creates a space for others, like you, to do the same.
Great Change Starts With You
Flawesomeness is not something you chase after; rather, it’s how you live. It’s living life with the confidence, resilience, and grit that this—every little thing about you—is who you are.
When you accept yourself, flaws and all, you may just find that perfection is rather dull. Because it’s your imperfections that add character to your personality.
This articles has been originally published on MindvalleyBlog and has been re-posted here with author’s permission.
Tatiana Azman
Tatiana Azman is a content writer for Mindvalley and a Certified Life Coach. With a background in spa and wellness as well as being a cancer survivor, she's constantly on the lookout for natural, effective ways that help with one's overall well-being.
Be kind to yourself: 5 strategies from Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani
Negative self-talk can cause a ruckus in your mind. Discover why you should be kind to yourself, plus tips from Mindvalley’s co-founder Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani.
Chances are, you’ve had moments where you were far from being gentle on yourself. Maybe you caught a glimpse of your reflection and thought, “Nope.” Or maybe you made a teeny, tiny mistake, and suddenly the constant nag in your head goes into overdrive.
You can yell at it until you’re blue, but, let’s be honest, the nag’s going to make an appearance again whether you like it or not. So what can you do? The solution is simple—be kind to yourself.
It’s the same sentiment Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley and author of Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life, had.
At 40, she found herself wondering why we, as a society, “demonize our flaws in the name of perfection” instead of celebrating them. And that led her to explore self-compassion so she could step into her “fully, unapologetically, 100%” authentic self.
The same goes for you, too—how you see and treat yourself is your choice to make.
So let’s explore the idea of self-kindness and all that it entails:
When you start with yourself, you create a positive chain reaction that can lead to kindness and compassion towards others. And that can lead to a more compassionate world.
What Does It Mean to Be Kind to Yourself?
Kindness toward yourself is filled with love, patience, empathy, understanding, and encouragement. It’s telling yourself, “You can do this,” over and over until you actually can. And while it’s a constant work in progress, there’s no room whatsoever for self-criticism and negative self-talk.
It’s like what Hermoine Granger said in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, “Fear of a name only increases fear of the thing itself.” Well, fear of self-judgment only increases judgment of yourself.
Let’s face it, we’ve all had moments where we’re our own worst critics. But here’s the thing, you don’t have to put up with that nonsense. As an ode to kindness, you can…
Embrace your imperfections,
Celebrate your uniqueness, and
Treat yourself with the same love and kindness you would give to those you love.
As Kristina says in her Mindvalley Quest, Live by Your Own Rules, “There is no such thing as too much love for yourself.” So let’s flip the script and practice self-compassion.
Why Is It Important to Be Kind to Yourself?
Our inner voices can be a real “He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named” sometimes. But did you know that when you show kindness to yourself, it can greatly affect your life?
“When we relate to ourselves with tender self-compassion, we care for and nurture ourselves,” explains Dr. Kristin Neff, a pioneer of self-compassion, in her book, Fierce Self-Compassion. So here are some of the benefits you can reap:
Stress goes down and resilience goes up.Research suggests that self-compassion can help reduce stress and increase resilience. So when you know how to be kind to yourself, you’re less likely to get caught up in negative self-talk and criticism.
Physical health improves. One study, in particular, found that self-kindness can help lower your inflammation levels, boost your immune system, and lower the rate of chronic pain.
Mood boosts. You’re likely to experience greater levels of happiness when you know how to treat yourself with care, according to one research.
Relationships are better. A study looking at self-compassion led to emotional well-being and strong social connection. So when you’re kind to yourself, you’re likely to be kind to others.
More motivation and productivity. With less stress and better moods, you’re likely to get more done. In fact, one study found that with compassion, goals are more likely to be pursued.
There’s so much goodness that comes from giving yourself the tender, loving care you deserve. And if you let yourself, you may just find yourself taking a page out of Kristina’s book and stepping into your “fully, unapologetically, 100%” authentic self.
5 Ways to Be Kind to Yourself, According to Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani
There’s no such thing as perfection. Yet, the goal of “perfection” is ingrained in many of us, and there are tons of examples that support it—that guy has a better body, that girl has prettier hair, and that family has such a great life.
This can lead to a never-ending cycle of comparison and self-criticism. But striving for perfection is not only unrealistic, it’s also harmful to your mental health.
So as Kristina says, “Your only moral duty is to be happy and at peace with yourself.” And with insights from her book, here are a few ways you can do so.
1. Find out what makes you happy
Happiness is like the Golden Snitch in Harry Potter. Catching it is possible, but if you’re not paying close attention, it can pass you by just like—snap fingers—that.
So take the time to figure out what brings you joy, be it seeking out the great coffee places in town, reading a good book, or whatever self-love routine you prefer. And then, make sure you’re doing more of it.
Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s insight: “The world doesn’t need your perfection. Neither does it need your sacrifice of personal well-being. What it needs is for you to be genuinely happy and at peace. It is important because it is when you are happy and at peace with yourself that you can offer the world the best of you.”
2. Don’t try too hard
If you give up at the first sign of hardship, you won’t get far. So a nudge here and there is healthy; it keeps you motivated and keeps you going.
It doesn’t do you any favors when you feel the need to constantly push yourself to do more, be more, and achieve more.
It’s, without a doubt, important to set goals for yourself. However, it’s equally important to recognize that you do have limits and cut yourself some slack when you need it.
Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s insight: “Let go and trust—this is what makes the difference. Both professionals and masters have to learn and practice their art, polish their skills and technique, but to become a true master, you need to learn to let go and trust yourself enough to create in the flow.”
3. Reflect on how you would want your life to be
What’s your ideal life? That’s the question, isn’t it? The question that we’re all dying to ask but have never been encouraged to.
Well, here’s your chance. Think about it, lay out your most audacious goals, and then actively work towards making them your reality. If you need a little help, try a little love-kindness meditation to get your gears turning.
Remember, though: be honest with yourself about what you truly want rather than just following what others expect of you.
Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s insight: “You do not need to pop that magic pill, nor buy whatever ‘they’ are selling as an answer. What you need is the courage and kindness to face your fears and be honest with yourself. Brutally honest.”
4. “Fix” yourself, not others
If you’ve ever been in the comment section of social media, chances are, you’ve read people’s opinions of how others should or shouldn’t do life. Those are the people who make it their mission to “fix” others to meet their expectations.
But, because there’s no such thing as perfection, no one really needs “fixing.” So focus on your own growth and self-improvement. And more importantly, have the self-respect to recognize that you can only control your own actions and behaviors.
Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s insight: “No one needs ‘fixing.’ Some people may need help, but they will come and ask for it when they are ready. They will find their teacher when they are ready. And it might not be you.”
5. Let go of your need for perfection
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live,” says Albus Dumbledore in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. The wise words are a reminder that chasing dreams can distract you from experiencing all the wonders and beauty of your life.
A major part of self-love is embracing your flaws and imperfections. And instead of striving for an unrealistic ideal, focus on living your life in the present moment and appreciating yourself for who you are.
Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s insight: “It’s when we come to love, accept and integrate our flawesomeness, our true selves, where the dance gets interesting, fun and fulfilling. Studying for personal growth is like learning the steps and drilling your dance technique, but your dance is, and forever will be, uniquely yours. Uniquely flawesome.”
Whenever you feel unsure of yourself, it can help to turn to the wisdom of others. They’re there to remind you that self-compassion is much like Dumbledore of the Harry Potter series—without him, Harry would still be living in a closet under the stairs.
So take a deep breath, read through the quotes, and remember to be kind to yourself.
If you can learn to be kind and compassionate to yourself, you can learn to be truly kind and compassionate to others.— Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley and author of Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life
Being human is not about being any one particular way; it is about being as life creates you—with your own particular strengths and weaknesses, gifts and challenges, quirks and oddities.― Kristin Neff, pioneer on self-compassion and author of Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself
Kindness begins with how we treat our own thoughts.― Gelong Thubten, Buddhist monk and trainer of Mindvalley’s Becoming More Loving Quest
Be kind whenever possible. It is always possible.— The 14th Dalai Lama
My wish for you is that you continue. Continue to be who and how you are, to astonish a mean world with your acts of kindness. Continue to allow humor to lighten the burden of your tender heart.— Maya Angelou, American memoirist
What we say to ourselves in the privacy of our own minds matters. — Marie Forleo, author of Everything Is Figureoutable
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.— Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
Self-kindness is not a one-off thing; it’s a lifelong practice. It takes time and effort, but if there’s anyone who deserves it most, it’s you.
Sprinkle Kindness Around Like Confetti
Kindness is not only about compassion, it’s also about courage. It requires you to see the beauty in your flaws and appreciate yourself because of them.
Remember what Dumbledore said in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire: “We must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy.” It’s not always easy to choose to be kind to yourself. However, it’s always the right choice.
Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s book, Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life, is a powerful tribute to just that—the beauty of your flaws. And accepting your imperfections as perfect starts with sprinkling kindness on yourself.
This articles has been originally published on Mindvalley Blog and has been re-posted here with author’s permission.
Tatiana Azman
Tatiana Azman is a content writer for Mindvalley and a Certified Life Coach. With a background in spa and wellness as well as being a cancer survivor, she's constantly on the lookout for natural, effective ways that help with one's overall well-being.
Be honest with yourself: 5 reasons why it can change your life
Self-honesty is hard, but it can help you uncover your true self. Discover why it’s better to be honest with yourself with insights from Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani.
How honest are you with yourself? It’s a simple yet tough question—one that most of us avoid because it’s not always easy to answer. So our go-to is to pretend like we’ve got it all figured out.
The truth is, self-honesty is necessary to live out our lives in fulfillment. Sure, it might be uncomfortable and even painful at times, but the upsides? They’re totally worth it.
It’s something Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley, is well aware of.
“Your relationship with the world is a mirror reflection of your relationship with yourself,” she says in her book, Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life. And when you come to grips with who you truly are, your relationship with the world will align.
So what does it take to be honest with yourself? Here’s what you need to know about it:
As Mufasa said to Simba in The Lion King, “Look inside yourself, Simba. You are more than what you have become.” And if the lion king can face his truth, so can you.
What Does It Mean to Be Honest With Yourself?
Being honest with yourself takes a combination of things: self-awareness, compassion, and love. It requires you to look internally at what you believe, desire, and value. And based on the “honesty” definition by the American Psychological Association, you’re able to express your true feelings and openly share your experiences.
While it often relates to weeding out your weaknesses and shortcomings, it’s also about acknowledging the good things.
“[Honesty] is that quality which sets the wheels in motion,” explains Kristina.
It’s like when Simba owns up to his mistakes, and the music goes into a crescendo as he goes back to Pride Rock to take his rightful place as king. There’s power, excitement, and, more importantly, that sense of awe.
The fact is, there’s something incredible about self-honesty. It’s scary because it unearths the flaws you worked so hard to bury. However, it’s also beautiful because it shows you that there’s an opportunity for growth.
5 Reasons Why Self-Honesty Is Important
Back to the question: How honest are you really with yourself? According to Kristina, there’s a huge difference between faking your way through life and actually living it with complete authenticity.
She posed this question to herself, and she admits there are times when she’s not as truthful as she’d like to be. But here’s the kicker of a question she poses: “Can one be 95% honest and authentic?”
“You are either honest or not,” she explains.“You cannot be mostly honest.”
So what does being 100% honest do for you? Here are five of the very many science-backed reasons why it’s important.
1. Increased self-awareness
Self-honesty is all about the inner work. It’s acknowledging all the thoughts and feelings that come up instead of brushing them aside—all in a judgment-free zone.
When you know how to be truthful to yourself, self-awareness shows up in two ways: internally and externally. And here’s what researchers have found when you have both:
Internal self-awareness allows you to make better decisions, build stronger relationships, and find greater happiness in life. However, when you lack it, there’s the possibility of anxiety, stress, and depression.
External self-awareness allows you to see yourself from the outside perspective. And that shows you’re empathetic and can take others’ points of view.
The thing is, honesty goes hand in hand with awareness. So when you accept the good in with the bad, you can mold your life into whatever and however you want it to be.
2. Reduced stress and anxiety
Guilt, shame, regret… these are all the feelings you may experience when you’re not being truthful to yourself. It ultimately leads to—no surprise here—stress and anxiety.
As Kristina asks, “How can we be truly honest if we are in the dark about the lies that we tell ourselves?” And so where there’s self-honesty (like real honesty), there’s also self-compassion.
According to research, this can help reduce those stress levels and greatly improve your mind, body, and spirit. As a matter of fact, a 2015 study found that teens who practice self-compassion are more likely to have better emotional and mental health than those who don’t.
3. Improved relationships
Being honest with yourself is an act of self-love. And as you get more comfortable being more open and authentic internally, you’ll find that same openness and authenticity externally.
For example, when Simba was honest with himself and gained the courage to return to Pride Rock, he repaired his relationships with his mom, Nala, and the rest of the pride.
Honesty creates a safe space for more trust, intimacy, and connection, especially in your relationships. Research out of Pennsylvania State University suggests that for relationships to stand the test of time, being truthful is an important factor that needs to be put into play.
4. Greater resilience
When you know how to be honest with yourself, you don’t look at weaknesses and challenges as a sign to give up. Instead, you see them as a chance for improvement.
It’s with this mental toughness that you will have better mental and physical health, according to a 2002 study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Because, let’s be honest (no pun intended), life can sometimes knock you down. But self-honesty can help build resilience and get you back up.
5. More meaningful life
There’s a certain level of self-respect that’s needed to be honest with yourself. After all, there’s no honor in dishonesty.
It’s as Kristina says, “Honesty starts with being honest about lying.” To get to 100%, there’s an alignment that needs to happen—the one between your actions and behaviors and your values and priorities.
In doing so, you can find peace and happiness within. And as one study shows, “People behave more honestly in a state of happiness than they do in a neutral state.”
What does that mean? Simply put, honesty leads to happiness, and happiness promotes honesty. It’s a circle of life.
3 Ways to Be Honest With Yourself, According to Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani
Being an honest person (in this case, to yourself) does open you up to your imperfections, yes. But it also opens you up to a whole other side of you that you may have taken for granted.
So the question is, how can you be honest with yourself? Taking bits of wisdom from Kristina’s book, here are three ways you can do so.
1. There’s no point in lying about lying
When she gives her talk on authenticity, Kristina often asks her audience to rate their self-honesty. The most common answer (unsurprisingly) is that they believe they’re honest with themselves.
But why’s that so? Why is lying such a part of our existence? Even a 2002 study by the University of Massachusetts found that 60% of adults can’t go 10 minutes without telling a lie at least once.
“Our brain is a great illusionist with just one function—to save and protect us from harm or death,” Kristina explains. And since rejection is considered life-threatening (from the brain’s point of view), “appearing good is rather high on [its] priority list.”
In this case, lying helps put us in a protective bubble so that we don’t have to deal with the harshness of reality. But, as mentioned, you’re either honest or you’re not.
And the first step to 100% is to be honest about the lies you tell yourself.
Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s insight: “Self-deception is not you lying to yourself, but your brain tricking you into viewing the world in a way which is most beneficial to you.”
2. Understand what’s truly true
When it comes to truths, there are two you need to be aware of:
Absolute truth, which is something that’s true for everyone. One example of this is that the Earth is round.
Relative truth, which is something that’s true for one person. For instance, you may think strawberry ice cream is the best thing ever, but your friend may think otherwise.
So the next time you find yourself staring at something that you think is certainly true, ask yourself:
Is it an absolute truth or could it be relative?
Can I think of any examples or people who defy this generally accepted truth?
You can contemplate it in a discussion with friends, in a journal, or in a loving-kindness meditation. But, as Kristina emphasizes, remember this: “Your Truth” (the truth that you chose to adopt for yourself) is just that—your truth and no one else’s.
Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s insight: “If you can admit that sometimes you lie to yourself (and sometimes, to others), then you are ready to ask yourself this uncomfortable question: “Is this the truth or is this the story I’d like to believe in?’”
3. Stop faking it
That saying, “fake it ‘til you make it” causes more harm than good, according to Kristina. She adds, “It sets us off on the path of self-deception.”
Let’s look at money as an example. There’s a difference between having a mindset of abundance and spending like you’re Anna Delvey.
What’s more, this “faking it” concept may just make you feel like an imposter. A 2022 studyfound that neurosurgeons who have imposter syndrome suffer from burnout and a negative effect on their well-being. These feelings, according to the paper, can affect their productivity and patient care.
Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s insight:“I wholeheartedly agree that if you want different results in your life, you need to do something different, but if you want a profound change, you have to see into the essence of phenomena; you have to go beyond the facade, beyond the faking.”
“Be Honest With Yourself” Quotes
Being honest is a universal virtue—one that tons of people recognize as important. So when you’re in need of a pick-me-upper, perfectly imperfect quotes are a great source to turn to.
Here are some great ones, hand-picked to help motivate, inspire, and remind you that being an honest person has its merits:
Honesty is a sharp weapon. And you have to learn to use it properly before you start wielding it.— Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley and Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life
Therefore, be honest with yourself as to why you are choosing to do a particular thing. Then, do it gladly, knowing that you are always getting to do what you want.— Neale Donald Walsch, author of the Conversations With God series and trainer of Mindvalley’s Awaken the Species Quest
Any negative traits you identify are not really yours—they belong to your negative self-image and were programmed into you when you were a child. By identifying them honestly, you are about to let them go!— Paul McKenna, the world’s leading hypnotist and trainer of Mindvalley’s Everyday Bliss Quest
As I have said, the first thing is to be honest with yourself. You can never have an impact on society if you have not changed yourself.— Nelson Mandela, former president of South Africa
Living a more honest life starts with confronting our own deception instead of simply noticing everyone else’s.— Judi Ketteler, journalist
You can never be true to others if you keep on lying to yourself.— Gift Gugu Mona, poet and transformational speaker
Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it’ll always get you the right ones.— John Lennon, musician
One must strive to be as honest as you are humanly capable with yourself and others. It is impossible to move forward otherwise.— Tohoru Masamune, Japanese-American actor
Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.— Dr. Seuss, children’s author and cartoonist
This articles has been originally published on Mindvalley Blog and has been re-posted here with author’s permission.
Tatiana Azman
Tatiana Azman is a content writer for Mindvalley and a Certified Life Coach. With a background in spa and wellness as well as being a cancer survivor, she's constantly on the lookout for natural, effective ways that help with one's overall well-being.
